the cause of my muscle spasms is my constant WRITING, my constant hours EDITING, my endless addiction to the laptop. Being stuck with one position for too long is not good, the spine to protect itself from further injury will create these spasms. so WORK, enslavement to long hours with very little pay has lead me to the hospital plus spinal rehab therapy.
again, matigas ulo ko, i am blogging again. i can't resist. 3 hours of staring at the ceiling will drive me crazy, 15 hours doped out on valium and xanax makes me feel like a zombie. worst i think i had a reaction to the tramadol. i am a monkey typing with one hand supported by massive pillows. memento mori, i am so faced with my mortality now, hell, it has been an interesting life so far.
there were 3 deaths every week last May, my fave uncle George from a stroke complication. My cousin from a battle with brain cancer for almost 4 years. He fell and hit his head hard during a basketball game. The resulting 'bukol' got surgically drained, but grew back into a cancerous mass. His wife left him and on his funeral she refused to let his son attend. ipinagdamot pa, such heartlessness caused greater pain for the tayag clan.
but my emotional theory on what led to my bodily breakdown perhaps has more to do with her death which i took so hard and to this day to heart. i sorely miss her. she was my mother, when my own mother was a stranger to me while growing up. my mama let was larger than life and a lot of people loved her, and people came to her funeral in troves and she wasn't even a politician. she died a month ago from kidney failure and complications from diabetes. i wish i had given her a better life. i think that is my great regret.
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